Monday, January 1, 1996

10 More Ways to Annoy Your Professor

The first 25 Ways...

1. Ask stupid questions such as: "Is ear wax poisonous?" When your professor says no, jump up and yell,"Thank God! I'm going to survive!"

2. In the middle of class stand up and walk out. A couple of minutes later come back in and sit back down. Act as though nothing happened. Do this every 20 minutes.

3. Fake an orgasm in the middle of your professor's lecture. If he/she asks about it say that their lecture was really compelling.

4. Pretend to be sleeping. Then in the middle of your professor's lecture jump up and yell,"Where the hell am I!" Then sit back down and go back to sleep.

5. Run out of class screaming,"Someone please stop the itching, I'm covered in fleas!" A couple of minutes later walk back into class and act as though nothing happened.

6. If you have an early class, at the start of class begin shaving with an electric razor. If your professor protests, say,"I wouldn't have to shave right now if you didn't schedule your class so early." Continue shaving.

7. Wear a hockey helmet everyday to class. If your professor asks about it say that you can never be too careful. One day don't wear the helmet and say you don't think you need it anymore. The next day come in with your head wrapped in bandages.

8. In the middle of your professor's lecture about a war start booing. Say that you were cheering for the country that lost.

9. Ask for an extension on your paper and when your professor asks why say, "THEY'RE" after you and you have to leave the country for a while" If your professor asks who "THEY'RE" is say that he already knows too much and they may come after him they find out.

10. Instead of writing notes on what your professor says, make up your own notes. Then when you write a test use the information from your notes as answers. When you get the test back, act outraged and show your professor your notes and claim that he said all these things.(only do this on tests that don't matter).

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