Monday, January 1, 1996

41 More Fun Things To Do in a Final That Does Not Matter

The Original 30 Things...



  1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.
  2. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.
  3. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.
  4. Bring cheerleaders.
  5. Bring pets.
  6. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.
  7. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.
  8. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc..).
  9. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i.e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink)
  10. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.
  11. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say "you don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!!!"
  12. Bring a water pistol with you. Nuff said.
  13. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.
  14. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.
  15. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."
  16. When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.
  17. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.
  18. Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.
  19. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc... sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.
  20. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
  21. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.
  22. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say "it helps me think." Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you so".
  23. Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx Sucks"
  24. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he\she did it.
  25. Write a short story about your childhood, or an experience that you once had. If you can't think of anything, make something up. Be creative. End the story with "I just thought I should tell you."
  26. Wear a mask or costume, pretend that you really DO think that you're someone else.
  27. Play loud music.
  28. When you turn in your test, take all the ones under it and throw them away or keep them or put your name on some of them. Do it casually, as if that's what you are supposed to do after an exam.
  29. Dress like the professor.
  30. Cross-Dress.
  31. Borrow a friend's Video taping equipment and set up a lot of lights and a camera around your desk. Call out instructions to imaginary people who are supposed to be working the equipment.
  32. Two words: Plastic Explosives.
  33. Bring food or Drinks, pass them out to the class as if you're supposed to be giving samples for a fund raiser. Use the words "Would you buy something like this if we had a bake sale?" It doesn't matter if they are baked goods or not.
  34. Trip people as they walk by your desk.
  35. Read all the questions out loud like Rain Man.
  36. Walk around the room and ask people if there is anything that you can help them with. Speak loudly stutter and spit. Make a show of it.
  37. Make several origami animals out of the test papers. Re-enact scenes from your favorite soap opera with them.
  38. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.
  39. Fake an orgasm. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #__ moved you, deeply.
  40. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.
  41. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E...."

1 comment:

  1. This is a great and VERYYYYYYYY funny post! keep it up!

    ReplyDelete