Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Wall-E Phone Home

I predict Pixar's Wall-E will make $917 bajillion.

Here's the trailer.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Mr. T's Night Elf Mohawk FTW!

Mr. T, William Shatner and Verne Troyer (coming soon... I wonder if he'll be a gnome) have cut ads for World of Warcraft.

I pity the fool who ninjas purple gear.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Who down with Venn diagrams?

Many, many more: Charts and Graphs of Rap Song Lyrics

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

I love you, "I Love You, Beth Cooper"

I Love You, Beth Cooper is the greatest 80's high school movie that's actually a book which has not been made into a movie... yet (Chris Columbus' production company has the rights.)

While delivering his high school valedictorian speech, ubernerd Denis Cooverman uses the opportunity to profess his love publicly for head cheerleader Beth Cooper. The book follows the aftermath of that bombshell in all its hilarious, bloody (literally bloody) glory -- a night in the life of Denis and his movie-quoting (probably gay) best friend Rich, Beth Cooper and her two cheerleading cohorts, and Beth's 'roid rage asshole boyfriend Kevin and his two douchebag thugbuddies.

Formulaic? A little. Too witty for its own good? Sometimes. Eminently readable and thoroughly enjoyable? Yes. Fuck yes. I really can't do author (and former Simpsons writer) Larry Doyle's words justice, so I'll let some of the book speak for itself:

The human brain is an amazing organ, versatile and loyal. Denis's five-pounder , which could recall Klingon soliloquies with queasy accuracy, could also creatively misremember recent events if it felt its owner needed a break. Rest assured, the brain had an unedited master of the scene in question and could evoke it at all, as it would later that night and seventeen years from now, with Denis walking down the street feeling pretty good about himself until his brain sucker-punched him with evidence to the contrary.


"She invited band people," Rich shouted back. "She invited mathletes--but not us!"

Valli Wooly invited no one. She had disinvited just enough people ("I have to keep it small") for word to get around. She wanted everybody to be crashing, so that they would all feel unworthy and she could eject anyone at any time. She was that much of a bitch.

And one more:

Beth Cooper's butt.

He saw it for only a moment.

At 2:32 a.m. on June 4th, in the two-thousand-and-seventh year of Christ (Our Lord).

A Monday.

It was more than perfection: more round, more bouyant, more everything you could want in an ass. It had a single, perfect flaw: a birthmark, on the right cheek, exactly where it would be if Cindy Crawford's face were a butt.
I'm done.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Ebony, irony, living in perfect harmony


Thursday, November 1, 2007

Cowboy Chachi loves you best

Johnny Virgil at 15 Minute Lunch found an old 1977 JC Penney Catalog.

Witness the fashion splendor!

Joss Whedon is my master again

Joss Whedon, television writer god of Buffy, Angel and Firefly, is planning a return to television with Dollhouse, starring Eliza Dushku. The show is already picked up by Fox for 7 episodes, which will be aired out of order on random nights, and then summarily canceled.

[Variety article]

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Hi 24, please be awesome this season

Monday, October 22, 2007

Gripe anonymously about your neighbors

I went to rottenneighbor.com to bitch about, yes, a rotten neighbor, only to find that someone else had beaten me to the punch!

Tenants at Apt H have a dog they let on their second-floor balcony. It just watches and yaps at people, sometimes past midnight. It disturbs two apartment complexes. They also leave garbage sitting outside their door. (The dumpster is 100 yards away.) A real class act.
I hate them SO much.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Los Angeles Revival/Retro Movie Listings Calendar

Do you live in or near the Los Angeles area and like to see older movies usually at midnight? If so, you're a creep. But the good news is that I have some info and a handy calendar that might be helpful for you.

Here are several theaters that regularly show old flicks:

And here's that handy calendar I was talking about. I made it with Google Calendar. Important note: it only contains the movies I care about. So be sure to visit those websites to see all of their listings and, of course, always check with the theater before going!

I update the calendar regularly, so either subscribe to it via Google Calendar or bookmark this page.

Happy movie-going, creepo! And if you know of any other theaters I can add, drop a comment!

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Sometimes I feel like I discover cool shit on the Internet way too late

These have been around for a couple years at explosm.net:

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Hey little girl, come watch this video on the intarwebs

Probably the best PSA I've seen. Self-esteem FTW!

Monday, October 1, 2007

Iran So Far Away

From Saturday Night Live's Andy Samberg. I'm sure Youtube will remove it soon...

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Larry Craig is Trapped in the Closet...

Reason #1,924 why I love The Daily Show:

Friday, September 7, 2007

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Throw Momma From the Tambien

How The Office's Dunder-Mifflin employees spent their summer:

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

More fun parking signage

Saw this in the parking garage at the local Ikea.

There were 5 spots labeled thusly, right next to the one (1!) handicap space.

Figuring that I myself am a member of a family, I parked there.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Simpsons Star Wars Intro

Quick! Watch it before it gets pulled and Youtube gets sued for 400 bajillion dollars.

He could set the building on fire

Is it sad I'm more interested in the patty melt?

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Math is hard

What's wrong with this picture (other than that it's blurry)?

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Movie Review: The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters

The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters is an absolutely awesome documentary about the man who has held the record high score of Donkey Kong since 1982, and the guy who decided to challenge that score over 20 years later.

Just came from a showing with a Q&A with the director/producers. The filmmakers started out with the intention of making a simple "sports" documentary set in the world of competitive gaming, but came away from it with a different drama altogether, complete with a scared, arrogant champ, a scandalously corrupt scoring process, an incredibly determined challenger and a gallery of goofy grown men who have dedicated thousands of hours of their lives to becoming champions at games like Missile Command, Joust, Burger Time and Mappy.

It's a small indie documentary, and the filmmakers encouraged the audience to spread the word if we liked the movie... so go see it if/when it comes to your city - preferably opening weekend, which always counts the most.

Official site: http://www.billyvssteve.com

Friday, August 17, 2007

Movie Review: Superbad

Like this, only Superer
Superbad is the standard high school senior dudes try to get some trim from their unrequited crushes before school ends story, made much better by a lack of gross-out jokes and a great deal of heart.

The story is as much about friendship and camaraderie as it is about buying booze to impress (and hopefully bone) chicks. The two main characters, childhood friends Evan (Michael Cera) and Seth (Jonah Hill), are going off to different colleges in the fall, and there is a lot of unspoken heterosexual-life-partner angst about that inevitable parting threaded through the story. The movies really nails the authenticity of that friendship, and I found myself thinking throughout the movie, "That's exactly how my friends and I were back then."

The movie takes a (somewhat unnecessary) zany turn when the two local bonehead cops (Seth Rogen and Bill Hader) show up and take third friend Fogel (a.k.a. the already infamous McLovin) (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) on an all-night ride-along. It's extremely hilarious, but feels like it belongs in a different movie than Seth and Evan's

All in all, though, I McLoved it and recommend it McHighly.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Bilbo, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave the store

Important Nerdlinger Hobbit News Alert!

According to IESB.net, New Line is moving forward with The Hobbit movie, with Peter Jackson producing. Directing duties have been assigned to... hang on to your dork-britches... Sam Raimi.

My campaign to have Bruce Campbell cast as the voice of Smaug begins now.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Bad Choice: Jamie

From funnyordie.com:

Auto Phone Sex

Friday, July 27, 2007

Indiana Jones teaser poster

I've got two questions: How much? and GIVE IT TO ME.

(More news and pictures at Ain't It Cool News.)

Thursday, July 26, 2007

6 Movie Formulas That Must Be Stopped

Dear Hollywood,

Hi, it's us! The people who spend money on your movies. Please stop making the same ones over and over again. We've seen the same recycled formulas year after year after year—and frankly, we're tired of it.
CRACKED.com - 6 Movie Formulas That Must Be Stopped

Friday, July 20, 2007

Filipino Prisoner Thriller completes me

I can die now.

From the description:

1,500 plus CPDRC inmates of the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center, Cebu, Philippines at practice!

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Singing food always gives good advice

Another Wii-hate Song Parody

Also from sarcasticgamer.com:

It's true. They did.

Video Games Ruined My Life - Threadless, Best T-shirts Ever

The Wii Fit looks great with anything from Ikea

A hilarious parody from sarcasticgamer.com of Nintendo's new, stupid Wii Fit "device".

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Movie Review: Live Free or Die Hard

Live Free or Die Hard is like somebody took poor John McClane (Bruce Willis) and dropped him into a typically ludicrous techno-terrorist plot, forcing him to babysit Movie Hipster Computer Geek #72 (Justin Long) while hunting down the bad guys.

The Transporter or Die Hard? You Decide!

Thin plot has to do with an angry supergeek (Timothy Olyphant) wreaking computer havoc on the United States. He gets more than he bargains for when he sends his goons to kill unwitting helper/potential witness hacker Matt (Long), who luckily meets McClane first. Action ensues as McClane and Matt track down the bad guy, dispatching his evil henchmen one by one.

When McClane is killing dudes the old fashioned way, the movie is decent Die Hardesque fun. But when he is stunt-driving trucks and cars, and preposterously facing down Harrier jets, you might start to w
onder why they even bothered with Bruce Willis when they could have got Jason Statham for less.

But Willis is great, pure McClane. Maggie Q is awesome as Evil Asian Computer Expert/Kung Fu Master, and Justin Long makes the most of what little he is given.

Suspend disbelief, lower any Die Hard expectations, and you might manage to enjoy it as popcorn action fluff.

As an action movie, I give it a 7.
As a Die Hard movie, I give it a 4.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Monday, June 11, 2007

Let's bowl tonight

A very happy 25th birthday to the greatest movie of all time, Grease 2.

The Moviezzz Blog: Welcome to the GREASE 2 Blogathon!

Friday, June 8, 2007

God might possibly exist

Monday, June 4, 2007

The 50 Greatest Local TV Commercials

Head on over to the Phat Phree to check out their list (with videos) of the 50 Greatest Local TV Commercials. And by "greatest", they mean "most horrible."

Here's my favorite (and by "favorite" I mean "I want to rip my eyeballs out"):

Star Wars Family Guy preview

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Move over, Vanilla Ice...

There's a new awesome white rapper in town...

Average Homeboy!

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Google Maps Street View

Google Maps introduced a new feature today called Street View. Click on a Google map and see street level photos of the same spot you clicked on.

So far, only a few U.S. cities are featured, but that doesn't stop it from being fucking awesome.

Check out the demo and go play with it. (I cruised the Vegas Strip, and almost navigated all the way to my stepdad's house in deep west Vegas.)

Friday, May 25, 2007

I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul

Click pic to enlarge.

Hot Chicks with Douchebags

We've all seen 'em. We've all shaken our heads with dismay and disappointment. And now there is a site dedicated to images of hot chicks bewilderingly accompanied by, yes, douchebags!

Check it out: http://www.hcwdb.com or http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

This Man is a Pervert

Snarky E-cards


Monday, May 21, 2007

Buffalo vs. Lions vs. Crocodiles

The action starts about 1 minute 50 seconds in.

SPOILER: baby buffalo < crocodile < lion < adult buffalo

A Brawl In The Safari - Watch more free videos

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Bruce Cambell is hungry, much like the wolf

Although it seems like the ladies in this Old Spice ad are hungrier. For sex. With Bruce Campbell.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Halo, Next-Gen, My Old Friend...

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Cork It

She's poppin' out #17...

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

I Want To Taste Her Tears

Is that wrong?

Dear Godless Cousin, Heaven is Great, Wish You Were Here.

Do you know someone who is in danger of being "left behind" because of a sinful life? Imagine if you could write a letter to a friend or loved one after the Great Day of Reckoning. Maybe a message to your family telling them to trust in God, and that everything will be okay. Perhaps you would leave instructions to care for your pets after your departure. It could be that your message is the light that opens a sinner's eyes to the Glory of God and allows them entrance to Heaven during the trials before the Second Coming. This is where the Post-Rapture Post comes in.

The Post-Rapture Post - Send Messages to Loved Ones!

I am NOT a Moccodity!

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Griffith Park on fire!

Oh noes!

L.A. Times article

Thursday, May 3, 2007

You got that, asshole?